Unico Smartbrush jälleen kerran

Unico on julkaissut uuden ”päivityksen” hampaidenpesulaitteestaan viime viikolla. Kuten blogissa on useasti aikaisemmin todettu, kyseessä on kusetustuote, josta ei koskaan tule valmista sen vaativuuden vuoksi. Jatkuvat viivästykset ja ”selitykset” tukevat hyvin tätä kusetusolettamusta.

Päivitys alkaa tuttavallisesti:

”Hi guys! How are you?”

Aluksi pahoitellaan sitä, että Unico-huijarit eivät ole vastanneet tukijoiden tiedusteluihin:

”We give you an update of what we are doing in this period and we apologize if we do not respond to all the messages we receive, but we do everything possible to satisfy your requests.”

Sitten seuraa uskomatonta skeidaa, jolla pyritään perustelemaan jatkuvia viivästyksiä:

”As we have described before, it has not been absolutely easy to arrive here. We spent a lot of energy, time and money to develop the product we had in mind from the beginning without clearly having the organization of a specialized big and expert company. We have found many obstacles to give birth to a totally new and safe product with different design loops (which are the reason for delays in delivery and the biggest budget expenditure). You can not imagine how long it takes to follow and how restrictive are the areas in which we operate.”

Nyt ”huomataan”, että laitteen ”kehittäminen” kestäisikin paljon aiemmin luultua pidemmän ajan:

”We realized only during the development that the steps to be followed to produce the smartbrush we wanted are really long. We can not wait for years because developing to a totally new and technological product this is the time necessary for doing it, so fortunately we have had to address to suppliers much more experienced than us with a wide background in the dental sector, with a large productive capacity and able to supply a product that meets the required safety standards!”

Nyt seuraa järkytys tukijoille. Unico on luopunut pyörivistä harjoista.

”Their observations have been precious and have shown us which aspects would not have been satisfactory with circular movement brushes, above all in terms of overall dimensions, cleaning capacity and above all safety. An example is the type of circular motion that was discouraged both for the size to be reached, and for the difficulty in reaching some areas of our mouth. Therefore, a more standardized solution was proposed by our supplier, also in terms of the size of the mouth unit. We tested the final product supplied and we can say that the results are effective especially if during the session the brushes are compensated by moving up and down the dental arches (like when you chew food)”

Unico pelaa lisää aikaa kysymällä tukijoilta, millaisen laitteen nämä haluavat. Ja lisää aikaa saadaan sillä, kun kyselyä ei lähetetä kaikille, mikä käykin ilmi kommenteista:

”We have decided to collaborate with a partner company with the task of collecting preferences on your perk. The survey was sent by our partner to know your perk preferences and then received your feedback. We invite all those who for some reason have not yet viewed the survey email because it may have ended up in spam folder since the submission is clearly multiple, or have not yet answered, to look for the mail received by infodata.colorunicollection@gmail.com.”

Blogi on ilmoittanut yo. osoitteeseen, että se ei ole saanut kyselyä, mikä onkin aivan totta.

”If you have not found the email, please contact us! As indicated in the survey, the colors available are black and white. Please have some more patience as our decision not to commit gross errors of inexperience has been to entrust us through a partnership contract to an international supplier in charge of sending the large quantity of units requested all over the world. Clearly, it is not a matter sending a very large lot of product to a single address so it takes some time to send the individual units from Asia by selecting all your individual information. We also take this opportunity to remind you to update your delivery address directly on the Indiegogo platform.”

Seuraava askel tässä kusetuksessa on se, että Unico ilmoittaa, että tukijoiden kaikki rahat ovat menneet ”tuotekehitykseen” eikä rahaa ole enää laitteiden valmistamiseen. Unico pyörivine harjoineen oli tietenkin patentoitu...

Jos joku oli niin tyhmä, että uskoi laitteen koskaan valmistuvan luvatun laisena, se on hänelle aivan oikein, sillä tyhmyydestä täytyy maksaa.